Toxic people: Don’t let them get you down

Published 7:00 am Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Toxic people have a way of ruining my day, even though I’ve been told time and time again, dwelling on their actions only gives their drama and negativity more power.
As a self-proclaimed pessimist, I rarely offer an optimistic point of view. I prefer “keeping it real,” as one might say.
Optimism has never been a friend of mine. The rare occasions I do utilize that point of view, I am almost always disappointed.
However, in my point of view, my realistic outlook is not necessarily negative. I just prefer the non-fairy tale version of life.
For example, one of the things people told me about going to college was how easy it would be to find a good paying job almost immediately after graduating. In my 10-years post-college work place experience, I have found that not to be the case. I tell my younger counterparts, that the real world is not easy and jobs will not be handed to you just because you graduated from college. It takes hard work to earn your place.
With that being said, when I think of toxic people, I think of someone who carries with them a good bit of self-hatred and jealousy. They are the true murderers of happiness, with their constant complaining, lack of empathy and selfishness.
Some of the toxic people I’ve encountered, speak condescendingly to people, never believe they are wrong and take joy in the misery or mishap of others.
I’m happy with my life. I have a great husband, wonderful parents and sister and a nephew who certainly has captured the majority of my heart.
I believe toxic people are not happy with their lives, but I don’t feel sorry for them. Each and every one of us has the power to chart the course our lives take. If you’re not happy, do something about it. Instead of taking a positive step in the right direction, it seems easier for them to draw others into their web of unhappiness.
We shouldn’t let them.
According to, there are eight ways to deal with toxic people. They include maintaining an emotional distance, limiting exposure, respecting yourself, establishing boundaries, realizing it may not be personal, focusing on a solution, realizing you have a choice and developing a support system.
I’ve tried some of these suggestions before and they do indeed help. My favorite form of support is enjoying a “therapy” session with one of my good friends over a cup of coffee.
Maybe one day these toxic people will realize they control their own destiny and find a way to be happy with who they are. I believe if you can’t love yourself, then no one else will.

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