Redundant calls from Internet provider

Published 7:00 am Saturday, October 17, 2015

I got another credit card offer in the mail the other day. It was the second this week.

I don’t know why the people at Discover think I need their credit card so much, but I guess I can’t blame them for trying. I assume they mail everyone.

My Internet provider, on the other hand, is a different story.

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I use a popular regional provider and I get a call at least once a month from a real person asking if I’d like to save money and bundle my Internet with a cable TV or a home phone package. And at least once a month I tell the person calling that I do not own a television or a home phone.

One might suppose that an Internet service provider would have heard of popular websites like Hulu, Youtube, Amazon, Comedy Central, CNN, PBS or Netflix, where one can watch as many television shows and movies as they, but apparently not, because the news that I have no television is followed by a concerned silence.

And then, “So would you like to bundle your Internet with cable?”

And then I say, “No.” And I wait for next month’s call. I assume they keep hoping I will buy a television.

To them, I apologize. I feel bad for my Internet service provider, I do. It can’t be easy selling something that makes something else you sell obsolete, but cable service seems about as ancient as stone tablets and I think television executives must know this.

When I do catch the odd nightly news broadcast, the commercials between segments prove my suspicion that I am not the correct target demographic.

To be fair, the Internet also has ads too, and as I don’t eat snacks, drink sodas or buy running shoes, those commercials have about as much relevance as a Cialis ad.

I guess if there were an ad campaign reminding me to turn off the computer and open up a book, take a walk around town, or write a letter, I guess I’d get behind that one. I do need to walk more.

Not that that would help my beleaguered Internet service provider any.