Run with the pigs

Published 7:00 am Saturday, September 12, 2015

I do enjoy a good small-town festival.

This past week I spent some time looking up future festivals in Picayune and one, in particular, leapt out—or trotted out, maybe—and that’s the Run with the Pigs event in November.

I have no desire to ever run with the bulls in Pamplona as bulls can kill you, but pigs, well, pigs seem safe enough. I have, after all, seen “Babe” as well as the sequel, “Babe: Pig in the City” (the sequel’s better, believe it or not). Moreover, I have seen pigs run, and while they can scamper, I think I can take them in terms of endurance.

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I haven’t asked too many people about the Run with the Pigs event and I’ve never heard of anything like it, which is a good sign. Perhaps, in 700 years or so, Picayune will be the Pamplona of pigs and we’ll attract tourists from all corners of the earth to tear down our streets at dawn trying to outrun some porkers, inflamed with passion.

Here’s a thought: There’s a guy in Tupelo, Tim ‘Wild Thang’ Lepard, who has a team of monkeys that ride dogs. Dogs of course are basically fluffy pigs, and so if we really wanted to bring in the tourists, I suggest getting the monkeys to ride the pigs and the pigs tear down the street after the humans.

This could be an evening event, followed up with an outdoor screening of the original “Planet of the Apes.”

The possibilities are, frankly, endless.

So while I do appreciate the myriad of unique festivals and outdoor events offered this fall in Picayune (Santa riding in on a fire engine seems like a novel entrance for an otherwise secretive elf), my money’s on the pig run for general amusement.

I just can’t wait for November.