A toxic relationship

Published 7:00 am Wednesday, November 26, 2014

It’s hard to know when to call it quits on a relationship, especially when it involves one you have put a lot of time and effort into growing.

After a while, it becomes difficult to keep enduring the same behavior as you continue to hope for something more positive to happen.

The one key element of any toxic situation is hope. If your relationship were outright terrible, then there would be little debate on whether or not you should remove yourself from the situation. That’s an easy call.

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It’s when they show a glimmer of hope to keep you hanging on that you decide to stay. You invest yourself emotionally in the situation, and you will spend money, time and energy trying to keep it going when the writing is on the wall that you should not.

“They were so close to being good, though!”

Yes, and in this situation, “so close” is as good as it’s going to get.

After a while, you become numb and start sleepwalking through the relationship, expecting the worst but still just hoping for the best. You compare your situation to other relationships you know of that are way worse to make yourself feel better. It’s the moment you start propping yourself up on the failures of others that you know things have gotten bad.

“I know things aren’t great right now, but at least we aren’t (insert name of other couple).”

Finally, you hit rock bottom and start to wonder why you even bother. You’ve gone through the stages of detachment. There has to be a better way to spend your time. After all, it’s just a game, right? Surely there are healthier things to focus on every Sunday.

Then, you start looking forward to next week and rationalizing their mistakes, figuring out just how many wins you need to make the playoffs.

“Maybe they’ll get hot at the right time!”

Hope springs eternal, and there’s no breaking up with the 2014 New Orleans Saints.

At least we aren’t the Jets.