I’m a mother, get me out of here!

Published 1:23 pm Wednesday, June 10, 2009

As the graveyard shift of garbage parades across the airways into my television and although I said I would never do it, I turned on the new reality show “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here.” In horror I watched as D-list celebrities are placed in the jungles of Costa Rica for another attempt at fame because their fifteen minutes are nearly up. I could only stay tuned for a minimum of thirty minutes before I realized my life still has value.

I am a reality show-aholic, and I am admitting I have a problem, but even I have standards! Tonight, I turned off the source of my poison.

Instead, let me get back to living. This includes activities without DirecTV’s involvement.

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This weekend I did just that. One of the many fun things that my family likes to do — which doesn’t involve getting voted off the island or any strange immunity challenges, but does take place in the deep woods — is hiking.

On a last minute jaunt, we drove a little over an hour and went on a three mile hike. Of course, these aren’t Mississippi miles, but rather the up and down, over the rocks, and through the woods Tennessee kind of miles that really work on an ankle. Don’t worry, I’m prepared with my handy dandy expensive hiking boots which have prevented my old basketball ankle injury from revisiting me in my old age.

I highly recommend a walking stick as well. It has saved my bottom from hitting the ground a dozen times.

The great thing about hiking is that you get back to nature. The sound of birds, running creeks or streams or better yet, the roar of a water fall, all take us back to tranquility. Life before ABC, NBC, and many other networks who vie for our precious time.

However, I still have the voice of the twins in my ears, but the tone is one of happy, satisfied little campers enjoying the bugs, the rocks and the pure earthiness of being in a wilderness.

All around is God’s creation which in person is way more beautiful than a landscape on a sheetrock wall. This is what everyone needs in America; a good dose of nature.

Every moment of our day is filled with static, such as the noise or sounds that add to our stress load. At home, instead of quiet time we turn on the clock radio, the shower radio or the news on the television to greet us and fill in the nothing. We can’t stand the sound of nothing.

In our cars we turn on more music, either from our Ipods or MP3 players, talk radio or the funny guys that make dirty jokes and think their opinion is god-like. At school or work, we continue the noise and in no point of the day do we sit and take in the sound of silence (not the Simon and Garfunkel kind).

In true silence we find ourselves, our peace and, for many, our God. Our souls crave this interconnection like a computer needs an Internet. Without the ability to hook up to the all powerful, we just replay the same data over and over again. It becomes junk. We become stale and boring.

The walk through a nature trail, or a field or even a neighborhood can reset our buttons. Not only help us lose the obesity tendencies of our generation, but bring back our self meditation to mold our minds and spirits. We need tranquility, quiet and peace, especially as a mother!

As the celebs on this particular reality show are tested, they use the plea which is also the show’s title to excuse them from distasteful challenges, such as eating worms or something similarly gross. As a pampered, assumed star they don’t have to participate if they cry, “I’m a celebrity, get me out of here.”

Could I use the same at home? Could I be dismissed because I find the next activity yucky?

Let’s say, the new pup has an accident, the twins are fighting and the teen is hungry, the laundry is a mile high and I haven’t a clue what to fix for supper. Dare I utter the words, “I’m a mother, get me outta here!”

Will Calgon take me away?

Can I find a moment of tranquility in my crazy life of chauffeuring from Point A to Point B? Can I turn off the noise of kids, dogs, and televisions blasting me until I get to the mom’s had enough explosion that we’ve all experienced?

If I can, and I can be taken out of here, just place me on a beautiful mountain trail, along a babbling icy creek with lots of rocks and waterfalls, with blooming rhododendron or mountain laurels and I think I can recharge all my juices to take on the daily challenges of being part of the human rat race.

Because we all need a good dose of “real” reality filled with nature, dirt, and the chorus of birds chirping. Ahhhhhhhhhhh.

Forget laundry today boys. Grab your hiking boots and walking stick, momma’s going for a hike!

Tracy Williams is a guest columnist and can be reached at her website: myhometowncolumn.com