The black and Blonde of it

Published 6:21 pm Wednesday, January 23, 2008

All this ‘race talk’ in the presidential campaigns has me thinking about how nice it is to be even discussing that race, gender or religion should not matter when casting a vote but what does the candidate stand for. All candidates have barriers to overcome, Obama the black man, Huckabee, the Baptist minister, Romney the Mormon, McCain the elderly one, Edwards the too cute one, Thompson the Hollywood one, but for a blonde woman the stereotype is brutal.

After all, we can accept Morgan Freeman as God in movies with no problem, but how many dumb blonde jokes can you overcome in the minds of the voters? How many blonde jokes have you heard in your lifetime? What is a blonde to do?

One good point for Hilary is that in studies it is proven that men do prefer blondes, so take away the dumb factor and maybe a smart blonde can be president of the United States.

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Where did we get this prejudice? I understand the whole black and white racial prejudices from our history of slavery and abuse, but how did blondes become the icon of stupidity?

Why did Hitler think the blond and blue eyed race was superior? Did he not hear the dumb blonde jokes in the 40’s?

Why are men exempt? Men with blond hair like Bill Clinton, Robert Redford, and Sting are not thought of as inferior because according to the stereotype tendencies men are exempt from the dumb blonde factor.

This is wrong. We should not have a double standard. If blond is dumb then men should be held accountable! And does it have something to do with the spelling of blond which changes for either males (blond) mixed groups (blond) or women (blonde)? Does the added ‘e’ make the difference?

For over 11,000 years the world has seen blond people, usually from European decent. Blonds make up 2% of the world’s population and 5% of the United States. Of course, if you add in all the fake blonds the amount jumps to 75% and higher every day!

So, do fake blonds have more fun? Are they dumb and dumber?

As a person of unnatural color, let me state that I am smarter than I was when I was brunette and it’s the gray hairs that have increased my wisdom and promptly increased my blondeness to cover my maturity. Although, this smartness has increased, the fact that I appear blonde lets me get away with my dumber moments.

This dumb blondness can be a manipulative tool used by smart brunettes who have ‘morphed’ into blondeness.

This whitening of the world of women has been growing in popularity and the recent trend of Hollywood going brunette only lasted for a few moments before the Celeb industry reverted back to their blond ways.

So, my theory is that brunettes who go blonde do not lose any brain cells but may tend to act as if they have instead. So what about true natural blondes?

One point I must address, many of our children are born blond and stay blond throughout their toddler years; as they learn more knowledge the color of their hair darkens. Could this prove that true blondness is a lack of knowledge?

In 2002, the world awoke to the startling news from a study that scientists predicted blonds were eventually becoming extinct. It cited the trend of mix racial couples and that the darker skin races were producing more population. This theory turned out to be an elaborate hoax, or was it? It makes sense. After all, the natural world is known to rid itself of the weaker and only the strong survive.

Let’s face it, stupidness takes care of itself. Just watch Country Fried Videos and you realize stupid people will soon stupid themselves into an early grave. Do you know if you are one of the stupid people? Do you read the shampoo bottle for directions? Do you jump off tall buildings onto miniature trampolines while filming? Is your name Britney Spears?

Why have the blonds fallen from grace into this dumb blond stereotype? In Ancient Greece a blond hair person was seen as a sign of divinity in a world where most were dark haired and dark eyed. In European fairy tales, the blond hair was commonly ascribed to heroes and heroines.

The Nazi Master Race used blondness to signify superiority of race which put the change sometime after Hitler’s death. Right around the time of Marilyn Monroe. Bingo!

We must put all the blame on Hollywood again for dumbing down Celebs. Marilyn Monroe and the lesser known Jean Harlow brought the platinum blond dumbness to the forefront of American culture.

The dumb jokes have been around for decades and must have come from the generation who emulated the blonde bimbos of their time. They gave us the phrase that blondes have more fun and made blondes to be dumb, beautiful, and promiscuous.

As the Celebs grew, Chrissy from “Three’s Company” kept the dumbness going. Dolly Parton brought blonde hair and larger bra sizes to equal ignorance.

Recently, Reese Witherspoon tried to tap into the blond culture in her movie “Legally Blonde” to show that blondes can be smart in their own way. Did it help? Have the dumb blonde jokes lessened?

Yet, it is still hard to name smart blonde women? Meryl Streep, Hillary, and Nicole Kidman are a few. (Nicole because she got away from that crazy Tom Cruise!)

In conclusion, it is not the blonde haired woman’s fault for her dumbness but the creation of the stereotype by Hollywood. Hollywood deserves the blame!

We can help break the trend and save the dignity and IQ of thousands of blondes today. First, all blonde jokes must be changed to blonde men jokes. For all true blonde women, dye your hair brunette so you can be treated in a smart manner thereby changing your mindset. Boycott all Wrestling Shows and movies where blondes are portrayed as dumb and low morale.

I will start my part today to help the blondness of America.

What did the blond MAN do when heard that 90% of all accidents occur around the home? He moved. Why did a blond MAN get a refund for a donut? It had a whole in it!

Why did the blond MAN stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? Because the can said “concentrate” on it.

If a blond MAN and a brunette MAN are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?

The brunette MAN. The blond MAN has to stop to ask for directions.

Do you get my drift?

There must be something to being a blond because too many of us are choosing to be blond when God so ordained us not to be. Me thinks being blond isn’t so dumb after all!

Let’s make the world a better place and adopt a blonde hair woman today. Who knows our next president could be one of them?

Remember we are the same color on the inside, just different shades on the outside according to the L’Oreal box.