Kids, Saints and Salt

Published 8:47 pm Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Oh, my heart hurts. Like Sanford, I could be having the big one, Elizabeth! Why? Because kids, the New Orleans Saints and salt are breaking my heart!

Whether you have kids or not, children with all their innocence can really touch your heart with their enthusiasm, their joy, and their curiosity. As much as they make you smile, when kids are suffering, the heartbreak is even more severe. That is why those starving children commercials do so well. Show me a suffering child and I will do what it takes to help.

Kids know this. So, they began plotting their schemes early. Their requests for bigger and better grows outrageous to the point of insanity before parents, grandparents, and close loved ones reach the point of saying no. In other words, kids know how to get what they want. Eventually, their wants get even bigger than momma and daddy’s pocketbook and the power struggle really begins.

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No one wants to disappoint a child. No one wants a Christmas morning without having the perfect toy for their child. But, in this day and age of materialism, the perfect toy has turned into the perfect list.

Hence, it is impossible to supply the list! We end up with a child whose expectations have been built up by the whole environment of the Christmas ending and anything less has missed the mark. We feed the flame when we don’t extinguish the fire of the greedy give me’s.

I try not giving in to the hype, but I find myself just as excited as the kids. I love decorations, light shows, and the music. I love the whole holiday experience, but stop short of Carl on the Christmas Vacation movie. His drive for bigger and better experience is fun and humorous when everything goes wrong from unexpected, low-income moocher relatives to the cat that is executed by lights from the Christmas tree. Who doesn’t like a crazed squirrel in the house for the holidays?

I have had a full agenda this season, and the kiddies have not even turned in the proverbial ‘list’ yet. It is beginning to look a lot like bah humbug at my house!

I won’t accept a materialistic Christmas this year! I will be determined to experience the true meaning of the holidays. At least, that is what I will tell the children because I haven’t had time to go power shopping!

Kids are not the only things that break my heart.

Mondays are hard for New Orleans Saint’s fans. These days, the black Mondays are more than I expected from this promising season and so I am a disappointed and heartbroken Saints fan. Just don’t remind me of my hopeful column at the beginning of the season where I spouted some nonsense about Super bowls. Gosh.

Yet, I am a true fan. I am not a fair weather fan and I continue to wear my number 25 jersey, I continue to cheer for them and as a normal Saint’s fan, I hope for the future once again. I continue to believe. After all, the Red Sox broke their curse, twice!

I was dreaming of a Saint’s play off again and all I got was a broken down season of mishaps, mistakes, and moments of glory. I will hold my head high and wait til next year, again.

Do you know what else can break your heart? Yes, salt. It’s bad for your heart. I love salt but it seems to be the first thing they take away when your heart is not pumping right. When number one husband had high blood pressure problems, the doctor put him on a no salt diet, not low, but NO salt. Yikes. For a girl who has borderline low blood pressure and who loves her salt, this was a bad turn of events.

It broke my heart not to pour the salt container. My pleasurable eating experience became tolerable at best. Of course, I suffered along with him because that is what good wives do. But when alone, I was snatching chips, crackers and popcorn!

Dr. Oz says when we are stressed; we crave salty, crunchy food. I crave it all the time! ‘Nuff said.

My heart for all its breaking seems to be in fine shape. Women should really check those things out since we are the ones who never recognize that we have heart problems (besides our love life) until we actually have the big one.

I still love to relay the story where mother-in-law #2 was having a heart episode and while at the doctor’s office the physician orders her to the emergency room. Does she go directly to the hospital? Of course not! She goes home, does laundry, cooks lunch, showers and packs and then heads to the hospital. Now that is a woman with a good heart. Thankfully the end of the story is a good one.

Try to keep your heart in good shape this year so you can enjoy another Christmas. Try not to give in to your kids. Just prepare them ahead of time by telling them they will not getting all they want. It is not good for them and because you love them, you will provide a few wants. Tell them kids who get everything usually grow up and become Paris Hilton.

Keep cheering on your sport’s team. LSU fans should be happy this year. I will sadly watch the stupid playoff games wishing for the way it could have been. I will cheer Brett Farve to the Super Bowl! Go Packers! I can’t wear any cheese, but I will pull for them in my Reggie Bush shirt and my fleur de lis jewelry.

I will eat bags of popcorn and chips and hope my heart can handle it.

That’s the way of life when you love your kids, your team and salt.