Take a trip with Mom

Published 5:27 pm Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Take a trip with your mother… just you and her. I highly recommend it. There is nothing like it and you have memories to cherish. We went to Eureka Springs. She is so precious and it was quite a trip, what with her breaking her ankle within the first hour of arriving at our little bungalow on the west side of Eureka Springs. Then the family trickling in, finding their spots and catching up on news.

It would be better if I were not in the throes of menopause. That curious happening to older women is the real curse. Having babies is child’s play to this insidious monster who has kidnapped my personality and makes me the Bride of Frankenstein at the most inopportune moments.

It became apparent to me rather quickly that most of the family had no stomachs (that Shakespeare for not being hungry) so I had to announce to one and all that I needed life-sustaining sustenance or I would keel over and faint from lack of nourishment. One look at me would tell anyone that I could miss several meals and not faint. However, during this malevolent menopause, if I do not feed the bear regularly, I become quite cranky and that makes it miserable for everyone else. Mom knows this, so instantly offered to go with me to get a bite to eat.

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My cousin and her husband mentioned a great place just down the road so we went there. The lobby was full of about twenty people and I assumed correctly they were waiting to be seated for their daily, midday bear-tamer. The host said it would be about fifteen to twenty minutes to wait.

“Oh, no,” I cried, “Mom, let’s go somewhere else. I do not think I can wait that long without getting really cranky.”

Sweet Mom said, “Okay, whatever you say,” and turned to leave.

The host interjected, “Well, you won’t find better food anywhere else today and you might want to check the prices before you decide.”

I said it didn’t matter to me because I needed food now. He so sweetly said, “You are welcome to go look at the buffet before you decide to leave.”

First… I wanted to eat not look!

Second… He sure was cocky to slither into our decision making process.

But, by this time, I was starting to feel a bit stupid for being so insistent on eating instantly. So, I raised my brows and said much like a princess would, “I do not wish to look, I wish to eat. Mom, let’s sit down and we will [teeth grinding together] have fun.

We sat down in the only two chairs available. People in all sorts of sizes squeezed by me trying to get to the bathroom or to check out of the hotel or check in the hotel. I wasn’t much interested in what they were heading to do, just mostly interested in keeping my toes attached to my feet. I looked like a tap dancer sitting down.

Mom decided to leave the bear alone and she started a conversation with the lady sitting on her other side. This was the usual, Where-are-you-from conversation. We found out about the sights of Eureka Springs and she found out our history. Then she told us she had already eaten and the food was “simply superb here.” Egads. I wanted to ask her to lean forward so I could slap her, then grab the host’s red tie and sling him down and slap him just for being so condescending.

When the completely satiated lady finally took her satisfied self away, I switched to her chair and firmly decided to have fun. I found a book titled, “Over the Next Hill and Still Going”. After reading a few lines, I started reading out loud to Mom and we started laughing and we, indeed, had fun.