Life is scary

Published 3:45 pm Wednesday, October 25, 2006

It is the scary season again. Just look around and you will find pumpkins and ghosts adorning many home sites. Use to, only a few dedicated Halloween enthusiasts actually decorated for the night of Hallow but now, it is like Christmas time but with orange lights and spooky scenes. I have heard that some break out the Christmas tree and adorn it with orange and black décor, leave it up for the red and green and stretch it out until the purple and gold holiday.
Who needs to celebrate being scared when all you have to do is turn on the news each day and get a good dose of fear. But, at least the ghouls and goblins of Halloween tend to be more make-believe than real. Superstitions hardly hurt anyone but can make folks act a little weird. I still do not get it, but my mom grabs a button when she sees a funeral procession….or does she throw salt over her shoulder? I get confused sometimes with too many of the rituals of feardom.
I find many things in life scary. Sometimes I feel like I live in fear all the time. Once the world shatters even in the best of times it is hard to feel all secure and safe again. I keep waiting for the other shoe to fall or something like that. Thankfully, all my shoes are in my closet, but I could use some new ones.
My personal fears are those that life seems to bring to most folks. What is scarier than waking up on a school morning and realizing someone in the house will not have clean underwear.
What is scarier than having another birthday?
What is scarier than a child who gets a little sick on Friday afternoon?
Nothing is scarier than your teenager’s first solo drive.
Have you ever had the scary call from the doctor’s office after you have had a medical test? What is worse, you were not home and they left a message for you to call the office.
I find it very scary when I stand in my closet and realize that I really do not have anything to wear?
What is more frightening than to realize the doctor’s scales are more accurate than the proverbial four pounds?
What is more scarier than air fresheners that whisper in the dark and then spray you in the face?
What is scarier than the day you wake up and realize you have turned into your parents?
What is scarier than a large woman wearing spandex?
One of my scariest moments came when staring at the ultrasound screen and watching two globs of something move around and then the doctor says there are two of them!
What is scarier than realizing you punched the wrong whole while voting and you may have voted for someone like Ross Perot for president?
What is scarier than watching your loved one go to war?
Life has its scary moments. There is the scream of a child that immediately incites panic because it is an intense cry of pain which means you could be on your way to the emergency room. Conner has perfected this scream. We know that when we hear that particular tone that he is hurt. Now Cade is altogether different. He has the emotional scream and we hear it often and it will take a visual to see if a trip to the ER is needed.
It is scary when your child does get hurt. It is a moment of helplessness and fear.
Another scary item is seeing Jerry Springer dance each week, although highly entertaining, I keep thinking at any moment we are going to see a fall and hip break. Yet, the man keeps on going and going. Maybe Regis will take the older dancer role for the next season.
I think for this Halloween I may dress up and try to scare a few people. I am going Hollywood and wear the I have had too much plastic surgery mask. Just look at Joan Rivers and a few other starlets who have that fat cheeked, wide eyed shiny face and you will have my costume this year. It is very frightening and you have been warned.
So, what is scary to you? Is it the politics of Celebs? The bathroom at the local fast food restaurant? Congressmen who email your teen? Birds who may sneeze on you? Finding your perfect mate and realizing he or she is the same gender? Living in a community that is wet or dry? Boo!
It is a scary world so we might as well make the most of it and live life to the fullest. Go out and enjoy this Halloween slash fall festival holiday. Eat some pumpkin pie, a pound of chocolate and then for the scariest feat of all……….try to fit in your pants the next day. Oh my! That is what’s so very scary.
Happy Halloween!