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Get outta’ jail free

In Monopoly, who doesn’t like to draw the “Get out of Jail Free Card?” After all, it is a game about money and no one makes money in jail unless he writes a tell-all book.

You can order your own private GOJF card and carry it in your wallet for those times you find yourself stuck in the local jail cell. With the wave of illegal activities by Celebs, it might be a good ideal to carry one if you are rich and famous, since the jail cells are filling up with drunken Celebs such as Paris Hilton and Mel Gibson.

If you need an eternal break, you can order Get out of Hell Cards as well, but good luck trying to pass that one.

But who needs a get out of trouble card when a quick apology and trip to Rehab can do the same thing, plus win you points in the public eye.

Forget accepting responsibility, it was the almighty bottle that did it, not me, I am a victim. These drunken drivers, assaulting vixens, and Pedophiles are whisked away to a ritzy facility for special people with money and connections where they can take spa treatments and talk to a counselor and Bamm! They are worthy human beings again!

This trend of running to rehab is really catching on, but don’t think Mr. Average Joe can do it. That doesn’t work, because Average Joe can not afford the good attorney, the media liaison, or the fancy facility.

You need good press spin or these things can get out of hand. Poor Marie Antoinette’s reputation suffered from her lack of media representation. To this day, most folks think she told the starving French citizens, “Let them eat cake!” when told of the bread shortage in France. She was made into this self-centered Diva of Queens who probably had too many shoes and no charitable interests. But, thankfully, Hollywood is working on her reputation with another movie about the Queen who lost her head. By next year, a Hollywood actress will have an Oscar and Marie will be remembered for leading the French Revolution. Hollywood and history? They compliment each other so well.

So basically, what can you get away with if you are rich and famous? Murder? Child Molestation?

Have Robert Blake, O.J. Simpson and Michael Jackson suffered for illegal actions or have they suffered for assumed illegal actions? None of these Celebs were convicted, yet they are assumed bad boys of Celebrityville. Why? Because they didn’t get the Celebrity Bad Boy treatment. Not a one of them apologized, took responsibility for any crime, nor did they check into rehab. They are suffering from the lack of Public Opinion cleansing that other Celebs go through because they admit wrong, rehab and re-emerge with cleaned up images. The public embraces the Robert Downey Jr’s of the world.

Another bothersome excuse made recently by a politician was that he was Gay. Like that is supposed to explain his deviant acts towards young boys. We all know being gay for a man just means he dresses better.

Excuses are just everywhere. Every time a rich and famous person gets in trouble, there is an excuse and a spin. From Foley to Patrick Kennedy, the Capital walls are filled with too many excuses for bad behavior. Reminds me of Flip Wilson, the devil made me do it!

It is human nature to throw blame elsewhere; it all began with Eve in the Garden of Eden. It wasn’t her fault she ate that fruit, besides that serpent talking her into it, she secretly blamed Adam for not providing fruit that was good enough that appealed to her lifestyle.

The right way when caught doing something wrong is to refuse to make excuses, embrace responsibility and build a better character foundation with self-respect, pride and confidence. “Yeah, it was me, I did it. I’m sorry. I was stupid.”

Don’t find an excuse for the bad behavior, accept your lumps and begin a new direction.

Watch how others suffer for doing the same deeds you are doing. Robin Williams did. He took notice of Mel Gibson’s troubles for bad alcoholic behavior and realized he was going down the same road. He immediately checked himself into rehab. He took control and did something about it. His career has not missed a beat.

Beware of rationalization. Sitcom actress, Tracy Goldman did just that when she drove home after a BBQ one night. Her husband had drunk too much and she had only had two glasses of wine, so the rational choice was for her to drive the family home. The wreck that ensued injured her husband and her children. She went on Oprah and took responsibility for a very bad choice that at the moment was rationalized by the influence of the wine. She knew she had blown it. She made no excuses.

When you make a mistake, accept responsibility; learn from it; and don’t repeat it. Use your time for discovering solutions instead of inventing excuses.

On ABC news, they asked for memorable excuses made and here are a few of them:

“I locked myself inside my house.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t open the mail but I couldn’t find the letter opener.”

“Sorry I’m late for work, but the rearview mirror in my car fell off, and I had to go back home to finish putting on my make-up.”

“When it was discovered that an employee had purchased a $400 leather Dayrunner for herself using the company’s account, she said that the company should be happy she was trying to organize herself and would be a more valuable employee.”

“I was going to finish typing that report before I left work yesterday, but my fingernail polish wasn’t dry.”

“I can’t come to work because my grandmother passed away. I thought your grandmother passed away last year? Well she did but this time it was for real.”

The next time you find yourself in trouble, you can either reach for your “Get out of trouble card” or begin thinking up your excuses to gain sympathy or you can take it like an adult, accept you messed up and move on.

Sometimes, bad press is good press for Celebs. So, if your career is in the dumps rob a bank and plead gayness or alcoholism or bad things happened when you were young. Repent and the public forgives! But, you are still a weak person hiding behind the skirts of pretense.

AT least, this year we are not making any excuses for the Saints!! Go Black and Gold.