Published 8:19 pm Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Mel Gibson portrayed a priest who had lost faith and gained it back during an alien invasion and the theme and title of the movie was Signs. It was the end of the world but with a happy ending. Before the attack began the signs of the end of the world were crop symbols in the corn fields.

Well, I haven’t seen any writing on the corn, but other factors seem disturbing when you compare it to every end time sermon or book I have read.

Back in the Seventies, the second coming and all the end stuff became a fad along with UFO’s. People were reading every Hal Linden book and preparing for the coming doom. Then the books became dusty, the skies remained safe, the UFO’s even faded, but no end came. People went back to what they do best, watching television.

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The Bible states that no one really knows the time, the day, or the hour. But there would be signs warning the believers. I can still hear a most respected Christian leader, Billy Graham say in the late seventies that he felt the return of Christ would happen before he died. He is not dead, but one foot is most definitely in the door.

For those who have studied End Time Theology, the conflict in Israel has all the makings of the beginning of the end. You have Israel, massive conflict on several major fronts in the world, extreme weather disasters and let us not forget the Saints got Reggie Bush…..they could actually win the Super Bowl…and that is the final exclamation point. For Die-hard Saints fans it means they can finally die and we all know the ice age will begin soon after.

Since most Christians believe God took out the garbage of the world once, the Great Flood, his plan for the end of the world as we know it includes the battle of Armageddon, the war that would end all wars. Not something I would like to actually see….like the flood, I prefer reading the book or even waiting for the movie.

Look at all the strange goings on, even the Celebs are acting weirder than usual. Mel Gibson has a meltdown, Floyd Landis loses his title, Madonna mocks crucifixions, Paris Hilton is going celibate and David Hasselhoff is judging whether America’s got Talent. I have come to the conclusion; America has freaks, not so much talent. How can you take a yodeling kid, a rapping granny, a midget Aretha Franklin, and a Partridge family of river dancers and judge who has the million dollar talent?

Strange workings indeed. So we look to our world leaders for the answers. Just as Dorothy traveled the yellow brick road to find salvation from the Wizard we too go in search from the Mighty O. Not Oz, but the power of Oprah. One Oprah show and legislatures are voting on minimum wage hike. Could it be that the world leader in the end times is a talk show host? A movie coming out in the not so near future has a talk show host running for president, but of course it’s Robin Williams. After the last few presidential races, we could use a comedian.

Just think how great the world would be if Oprah was behind the curtain, pushing all the buttons and keeping things in order. What would the world be like if it were ruled by a woman? Hmm. Could the antichrist be a woman?

While the Middle East boils into internal strife, fighting each other while using any excuse to take out Israel, the relationship that Christians have with Jews has become stronger. Why? Christians believe they are to support God’s chosen people and Jews are just happy to have someone on their side. They too are looking for the Messiah, but for the Jewish nation this would be the first arrival. Christians are waiting for the second. What version will come? Which side are you on? Jews, Christians, Muslim, or the unaffiliated?

The end may not come from Biblical prophecy, there are more and more who think the end is coming via the Global Warming. With heat waves killing more U.S. residents than any other natural disaster, many thousands of people have died within recent events; even skeptics like Pat Robertson are voicing concern. Yes, it is getting hot in here.

But before you get all bummed out that time is running out, let me remind you of the good things about the end of the world:

— If the world ends soon, you won’t have to pay your taxes this year.

— You will not have to depend on your children taking care of you in your old age. That’s a load off for me; I was sure they would dress me up funny and wait to the last minute before changing my diapers. Just like I did them.

— If the world ends, no more excruciating Saints games. Remember the missed extra point heard around the world, and all of last season.

— No more bad hair days.

— Cindy Sheehan will finally disappear into oblivion.

— I will never have to do another load of laundry again.

— Depending on how it ends, we will finally see who was right about the end.

Thankfully, we can comfort ourselves that throughout history there have always been those who think the end of the world is imminent and their doomsday scenarios did not prove true. On the other hand, it only takes one to be right.

I would never hope for the end, too many innocent people still left. Sometimes you may think the wicked have over taken our way of life, but when you wipe away a little of the mud, you find some great spiritual leaders are still working, praying, and living their life as they should.

I could be wrong. The strange happenings in the world have always been going on. Mel has had a drinking problem his whole adult life, (he has seven children which could drive people to drink) Madonna’s whole career has been about pushing spiritual buttons, athletes will always cheat (although I feel something is very odd about Landis’s test….don’t you?) and Paris Hilton is just stupid. Maybe it would more stranger if they began acting normal, yikes, if that happens, I am heading for hills, looking to the eastern sky and kissing my world as I know it good bye!

In the great words of wise men on earth, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” and from the creator of Peanuts, Charles Schults,”Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.”

Have a nice day today because……..tomorrow is another day!