Archived Story

Ask better questions

Published 7:00am Friday, January 31, 2014

In my spare time, I frequent a blog called The Huffington Post.

Now this may not be anything to brag about since the subject matter includes a wide range of both news and aggregate content from around the web (which is, well… you know the internet), but I enjoy humor and those rare articles with poetic edge — and that remarkable combination of wit and insight is exactly what I found last week when perusing the site.

I stumbled onto an article by Glennon Melton, titled, “The Questions That Will Save Your Relationships.” Melton’s words were wise, tremendously touching, and begged me, in the subtlest way, to consider my own life and how the smallest changes can make the biggest differences.

She writes in way that is completely relatable to the reader, and yet her voice is unique. She explains, by telling a story, how questions — the same questions we’ve been asking friends and family our entire lives — can be found wanting.

Sometimes “How are you?” leaves so much left unsaid.

When dealing with people we love, knowledge is important. We should ask questions that allow for deeper, more meaningful answers. We cannot pass over the details, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem, because those details comprise the person we love.

Melton states, so profoundly, “Questions are like gifts — it’s the thought behind them that the receiver really FEELS. We have to know the receiver to give the right gift and to ask the right question. Generic gifts and questions are all right, but personal gifts and questions feel better. Love is specific, I think. It’s an art. The more attention and time you give to your questions, the more beautiful the answers become.”

Life is messy and we may tend to take people for granted, but no matter how wrapped up in our own lives we become, it is imperative that we always invest time in the people who are important to us and let them know we care.

 

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